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In tonight’s figure skating short program at Pacific Coliseum, ’2 become 1′: 20 pairs of skaters must execute lifts, spins and jumps while performing in unison.

I know very little about the technical aspects (I leave those important details to our amazing sports team), but what I do know is that this is the perfect Valentine’s Day event. And that the team to beat is also an off-ice couple.

In the name of love and classic ice-rink romance, I’ll be evaluating each pair in several completely-trivial categories below. I’ll add photos as they become available.

Note: Compatibility is rated using this site, which claims to be highly-sophisticated, but we know better than to take it too seriously. It’s on a scale of -1.0 (lowest) and 11 (highest).

Xue Shen and Hongbo Zhao (China)Compatibility rating: 4.9Costumes/theme: the movement of Zhao’s shirt makes me think he should be on horseback, but in a Lisa-Frank land that complements the hot pink. And Shen’s cut-out dress is tastefully sexy. they would make a great modern romantic-novel cover.Couple believability: this one’s easy: they’re married and in unison on ice. Shen’s face displayed so much joy the entire performance. I believe this.What the judges thought: 76.66Photo: ALEX LIVESEY / GETTY IMAGES

Maria Sergejeva and Ilja Glebov (Estonia)Compatibility rating: 5.7Costumes/theme: Yellow and black, argyle and a hair scarf: they’re preppy bumblebees. Couple believability: after Sergejeva’s fall, they were a little out of sync, and their faces didn’t glow as brightly as their outfits after the performance. I’m going to agree with the 5.7 rating on this one.What the judges thought: 42.18Photo: ALEX LIVESEY / GETTY IMAGES

Joanna Sulej and Mateusz Chruscinski (Poland)Compatibility rating: 1.3Costumes/theme: I’ve always had something against couples who dress too similar, which is what is happening here. She’s beautiful, but is that a scrunchie? Hard for me to tell from up here. Couple believability: the falls were difficult to watch. Maybe the 1.3 was telling, because I don’t feel much chemistry. What the judges thought: 39.30Photo: ALEX LIVESEY / GETTY IMAGES

Caydee Denney and Jeremy Barrett (U.S.)Compatibility rating: 3.8Costumes/theme: Sequin, neon and feathers (I think) are all things I love. but something about Barrett’s one-piece makes me think of Ed Hardy, which I don’t love. the song they are dancing to is “Firebird,” by I. Stravinski, so I think they get a pass for going all-out with the theme.Couple believability: they had so much energy and a great finale. this is the couple I’d invite to parties.What the judges thought: 53.26Photo: ALEX LIVESEY / GETTY IMAGES

Maylin Hausch and Daniel Wende (Germany)Compatibility rating: 7.5Costumes/theme: she looks like an NFL cheerleader, and he looks like he might listen to the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies with that pinstripe vest. they don’t match in theme, but his pocket square is saving this costume choice.Couple believability: they were so much fun to watch. the pair began the performance with a high-five and ended with a kiss. Maybe they’re out of the ‘just-friends’ zone?What the judges thought: 45.46Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Vanessa James and Yannick Bonheur (France)Compatibility rating: 7.7Costumes/theme: love the red, especially with the tango music, but it’s very matchy-matchy in design. her asymmetrical sleeve is lovely. Couple believability: They’re both so attractive, I want them to be together. And for the first time, the crowd clapped along with the music, making this all believable.What the judges thought: 51.16Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Vera Bazarova and Yuri Larionov (Russia)Compatibility rating: 5.5Costumes/theme: both outfits are a bit old-fashioned, but very romantic. they are performing to a song titled “Sadness,” and my heart hearts a little bit.Couple believability: after such a pleasant and delicate performance, I think if they were together, it’d be a very formal, black-tie love.What the judges thought: 56.54Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Amanda Evora and Mark Ladwig (U.S.)Compatibility rating: 8.5Costumes/theme: both skaters look simple and clean. If Gap made ice-skating outfits, they’d look like this. Couple believability: It was a very sweet performance ending with a dramatic embrace. Evora looked so happy afterward, selling the chemistry.What the judges thought: 57.86Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Anabelle Langlois and Cody Hay (Canada)Compatibility rating: 11.0Costumes/theme: the color is slightly too bridesmaid-dress, but they do look great on the ice and on the screen.Couple believability: the compatibility rating site gave this pair a perfect score, and it’s hard for me to deny how cute they are together. the Canadian fans rising to their feet may have influenced my reaction.What the judges thought: 64.20Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Ekaterina Kostenko and Roman Talan (Ukraine)Compatibility rating: 6.3Costumes/theme: It’s a very gothic costume choice, and the turtlenecks are distracting. however, if I were more into “Twilight,” I might like her dress.Couple believability: no comment. the loose flesh-colored turtlenecks are all I watched.What the judges thought: 39.54Photo: CAMERON SPENCER / GETTY IMAGES

Nicole Della Monica and Yannick Kocon (Italy)Compatibility rating: -0.4Costumes/theme: another couple wearing black and red, but this combination is over embellished. Couple believability: the two snuck in subtle embraces during the overall dramatic performance. that detail made me forget the hard fall Della Monica took and proved the -0.4 rating wrong.What the judges thought: 56.82Photo: MARK BAKER / AP

Stacey Kemp and David King (Great Britain)Compatibility rating: 5.1Costumes/theme: love the purple but can’t approve of the scrunchie or of the Linkin Park song selection. It’s hard to find romance in that combination.Couple believability: Despite the music, they were really enjoyable to watch and looked very happy skating together.What the judges thought: 48.28Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Anais Morand and Antoine Dorsaz (Switzerland)Compatibility rating: 4.7Costumes/theme: they look like they’re wearing ice skating versions of velvet tracksuits. It’s very monochromatic, but not awful. And Morand totally has a Topsy Tail, which makes me like her.Couple believability: anything set to Queen is believable. What the judges thought: 55.34Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Maria Mukhortova and Maxim Trankov (Russia)Compatibility rating: 9.9Costumes/theme: Why are his seams so tattered and hers so clean? I’m not quite grasping the theme in this performance, but i do like how the top of his shirt matches her dress. the colors look great when he lifts her.Couple believability: While they had a high rating, I was turned off by how they immediately went in different directions after the performance. the commitment ended with the music.What the judges thought: 63.44Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Tatiana Volosozhar and Stanislav Morozov (Ukraine)Compatibility rating: 3.4Costumes/theme: Wow. this is what ice skating will look like in the future. Couple believability: the couple that skates in space together, stays together.What the judges thought: 62.14Photo: MATTHEW STOCKMAN / GETTY IMAGES

Yuko Kavaguti and Alexander Smirnov (Russia)Compatibility rating: 4.0Costumes/theme: the theme is clearly swans. His wings and her skirt make it look like we’re in a windy venue. It’s actually very beautiful to watch.Couple believability: I just want their swan outfits to get married and make many more swan-outfit babies.What the judges thought: 74.16Photo: DAVID J. PHILLIP / AP

Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison (Canada)Compatibility rating: 4.9Costumes/theme: They’re dancing to “Requiem for a Dream,” a song with a very dark tone if you’ve seen the movie or read the book. the flower sparkles on Dube’s dress do not match the mood.Couple believability: the music seemed to be more powerful than their connection, but the crowd loved them.What the judges thought: 65.36Photo: DAVID J. PHILLIP / AP

Qing Pang and Jian Tong (China)Compatibility rating: 6.5Costumes/theme: I’m not sure I’ve seen an asymmetrical men’s outfit before. or one with cut-outs along the side. Couple-points for risks.Couple believability: they both did the triumphant fist pump after their skate. It’s a sign.What the judges thought: 71.50Photo: GEORGE BRIDGES / MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS

Dan Zhang and Hao Zhang (China)Compatibility rating: 2.1Costumes/theme: the theme is primary colors and a lot of fabric. It looks great on Dan, but a little hard to take seriously on Hao.Couple believability: If he can be on-air around the world in that outfit for her, this will work out.What the judges thought: 71.28Photo: IVAN SEKRETAREV / AP

Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy (Germany)Compatibility rating: 7.6Costumes/theme: Clowns. Couple believability: It took a second to get past the makeup, but they are so graceful together. the compatibility rating is far too low in this case.What the judges thought: 75.96Photo: DAVID J. PHILLIP / AP

Live-blogging pairs figure skating short program: Valentine’s Day edition